I am thirsty:

As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;
When shall I come and appear before God? -Psalm 42:1-2

Surgery is a vacuum of time, but it is a draw - the challenge of technical prowess, the satisfaction of tangible action; but do I want to constantly feel tired?

That's all secondary. What is life apart from God?